BERSTERFERST

If you’re unfamiliar with my tradition of blogging my resolutions and then revisiting them a year later, please check out my previous post.

2012 was all about regaining my self. Bringing myself out of the belly of the whale and trying to rebuild what was left. I think I was successful at that. I had a good doctor, a good support network, and a lot of anger in me. All of these things were necessary to bring myself out of my “disability” and get back on track with my life.

This year will be more about laying out the groundwork for my future, accomplishing dreams I thought could never be possible, dreams that people told me I was crazy to dream. I just want to say, fuck all of you who thought I was faking it. Fuck all of you who thought I would never be able to make anything out of myself, and fuck all of you who let me go when I needed you most. That’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever written, but I can’t stress how important it was to have people around me to remind me that I wasn’t crazy and that I could beat this. None of my struggles are over. I just had an abnormal test result come back, and I’m hoping its related to my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome that I’ve been dealing with since I was a teenager.

Anyways, on to my resolutions.

1. Get a bigger apartment.

My current roommate is insane and I need to get out. Also I miss my dog.

2. Do more of my own work.

I really want to do my own film, maybe finish some that have been waiting years for some attention…

3. Score a big freelance job.

I’m waiting on an e-mail from a big studio. I’m crossing my fingers and praying that they want me.

4. Continue loving my full time job.

Ever since my first day I’ve been loving it at Curious. I started in August, got promoted in October, and want to continue working hard there. I am so grateful that this studio took a chance on me.

5. Raise my credit score

What a boring and grown up resolution to make.

6. Go overseas

This is a big one for me. Growing up poor, we barely traveled between states let alone countries. I want to go somewhere and learn something from someone different. I’m hoping that I can go once my boyfriend graduates college.

7. Start working out again

This past summer I started running again, only to stop when I started working more. I tried taking a Kung Fu class but that was too much for my body to handle. I want to start researching proper workouts for FM patients so I can do my body some good without ending up bedridden for a week.

8. Conquer a few fears

Fear of spiders, fear of guns, fear of heights, blah blah blah These I could do without.

9. Do more exhibitions

I did one in November and will be doing another one this coming February. It would be nice to show my work every other month or so.

10. Beef up that savings account

I think I have 20 dollars in my savings? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

11. Grow my hair out and make it healthy

In November I cut my hair the shortest its ever been, just passed my ears. I really wanted a change, and I really needed to cut it all off. My hair is so much healthier now. I definitely won’t be dying it any time soon, I want my hair to be super long and super sexy like that fake hair on TV.

12. Repierce my nose

I had to take it out last year for a procedure thing I had to be put out for, and I really have been missing it. 5th times the charm. I want my nose piercing back, maybe I’ll get a hoop this time.

13. By the end of the year…

I want to have saved enough money so that I can finally claim total control over my life. I want to pay off my medical bills, put a big dent in my student loans (which I am almost half way done with!!) and just look forward to my future instead of feeling anxious about it. YAY. Maybe I’ll be married by then? wink wink Tom!?!?!?!?!? GAH

Exciting couple of weeks here at BeastyFeast (ie. my desk) I’m doing a couple of shows soon!

1. November 3rd- Art in the Dark- black light responsive art show at the Living Room Gallery in Stroudsburg, PA. I’ll be debuting the finished version of “Agony of Ursa Major”

2. TENTATIVE- November 8th-11th- BORIMIX Festival at the Clemente Soto Velez Cultural Center Re-Opening celebration at the CSV in the Lower East Side. Hopefully I’ll be exhibiting three or four pieces with a few other Latino Pratt alumni! Things are looking good so far, just have to finalize things with my contact tomorrow! Cross your fingers for me :) This show will get a lot of attention and is sponsored by a lot of big names, including the MoMa I think! Praying this goes well :)

And last but not least booked two new freelance jobs!! Coding a website for a new online beauty magazine written by a few very sweet young journalists from nationally recognized beauty blogs and publications, and a Yakuza style tattoo design for a very cool recording engineering student from Florida!

Wowee-wee-wow! I am so busy and i LERVE ERT.

<3